The following is a short list of excuses which have stood the Elm Farm Boys in good stead over the years. Some may be of use in your shooting career. Feel free to use any of them, we dont own them despite our frequent usage.  

This is a new gun, I'm still getting used to it.

When I call 'pull' I expect you to press the button straight away.

I wasn't expecting a sim pair, I thought this stand was 'On Report'.

That's not a crosser, it's more of a quartering bird but the board says it's a crosser..

I had to borrow this Beretta.

The sun was behind the clouds when you shot.

I'm only 5ft 2ins, you lot are closer to the targets than I am. (not everyone can use this excuse). 

No, it needs a lot more lead than you said.. I'd have hit it if I hadn't listened to you.

I didn't think that was the wad, I am sure I took a chip off that.

If only I had a Browning. (Technically, this is an aspiration rather than an excuse).

Why didn't you tell me it was the low going away bird first, you saw me set up for the Teal!

The wind is blowing a lot harder since I got on the stand.

That one crossed in front of the sun I couldn't see it.

But the board didn't say it was a midi.

I didn't sleep very well last night.

No, I still think that was a 'no bird'.

You lot need to shut up and let me concentrate.

These are not my usual cartridges. 

We'll finish with the all time classic - 'I haven't shot for ages'.